Bloated Hobbit

-taxes.
-no cheese in your BigMac
-dog poop on your doorstep.

-a birdie using you as the toilet
-your girly setting up a date with another man
-you catching your girly with the other man
-the other man being your....cousin (who you talk to everyday)
-not being bloated anymore.

did I pass? :)

How about getting yer dong stuck in a zipper

jesus, that's more like pain and not madness, but I guess I wouldn't really know.

Oh also, finding out you ran out of toilet paper at the wrong time! hahahaha